Why we don't eat dessert

"Why doesn't he have to finish his food?" This was a question recently asked to me by another child about my 3-year-old. I couldn't really think of a good explanation for this young kiddo so my response was, "we just do things a little differently in our home."

And then he continued to move his chicken around on his plate while being told to "take another bite if you want a cookie."

I have to say, I'm by no means a parenting expert but I know what is working for me. And I can't stand the thought of spending all night getting him to "eat three more bites of that broccoli before you can have dessert!" And I don't. Because I don't serve dessert. And here's why:

Aside from the fact that sugar is so bad (so, so, so bad...and addictive), in my house we don't reward for eating dinner. We eat because we need food for survival. Don't get me wrong, I make it tasty. But my family knows we get our meals and snacks if we're hungry, and if you're hungry, you eat. But there's no reward. 

My son sits down at every meal and he will tell me when he's hungry. He'll eat what's in front of him---if he's hungry. He tells me when he's full, and I know he's telling the truth because when he's eating dinner, he's not just working for the "reward" of cake, or ice cream, or cookies.

He never even asks for dessert. And the best part? He doesn't whine or complain about not getting it!

I don't always make him finish his veggies, but I serve them anyway. Sometimes he devours them, and sometimes he doesn't want to touch them. And to me, that's okay.

I also let him play with his food. What has proved true to me is if I let him play with his food--touch it, feel it, squeeze it, lick it, whatever.. he'll eventually taste it, and most of the time if he tastes it, he likes it (I am a pretty great cook).

When I DO decide to serve a tasty treat, it doesn't follow dinner. I'll never tell him "you can have that brownie after you clean your plate. It may be an after school treat and he helps me bake it, making it a special treat we can create and enjoy together. But it will never be a way of congratulating him for eating dinner.